I want to show you three easy steps to not only discovering why you might be angry but how to get rid of the anger.

Most people accept anger discover why as a part of life. We all feel justified when we get angry and we can point to all the people and reasons for it. Certainly no one in their right mind could disagree. We all shake our heads as we hear of yet another “idiot driver who almost killed me”, the boss “who set me up to take the fall”, the spouse “who knows just the right buttons to push to send me over the edge”. We also know there are times when it is right to get angry at injustice and abuse but we must use that emotion to change the situations not just to vent. But in this article I’m referring to something very different.

I want to talk about that anger that sits like a lava pool just below the surface building and building until the most obscure incident makes it explode. I’ve been there and I know how damaging it can be. But most people feel like they have every right to be angry-their laptop just crashed, the copier will not print, their child just spilled milk after they told them to be careful, they “think” their spouse or co-worker just gave them a look…

So the eruption occurs. It’s like the old marriage counselors comment “It’s never about the burnt toast!”

But the anger is there and when it comes out it is usually damaging, so what do you do?

We immediately want to justify it, who wouldn’t get angry at this or that? But justifying it doesn’t help you resolve it, so unless you live in a perfect universe with no one else around, it needs to be resolved.

Now obviously this is a very deep subject with millions of variables, but I am going to give you some simple tools here to help you get started.

The first step is being aware. By this I mean instead of just letting the anger flow when it is tapped, stop and be aware of how you are feeling. Being introspective like this will put the focus back on you and off of others-that in and of itself can solve a lot of problems.